What is the answer to life?

It’s kinda hard to type this. Especially since I feel physically sick when thinking about it, but I’ll try my best.

Death.

The answer to the ultimate question of life is 42. Four in Japanese is “shi” (Sino-Japanese reading) and two is “ni”. Together they make “shini” the first part of the word “shinigami” which means death-god. The answer to life is death.

I feel like there’s a point in everyone’s life when they finally realize everything must come to an end. Those people who try so hard to make “immortality” pills are stuck in the fantasy that nothing ends. Everything has an end. Every life is a book, and all books have endings. Sadly, after two of my first guinea pigs passed away, I’ve gone into paranoia with my other three. I’m terrified. I dont want anyone to leave. I hate goodbyes. I know it’s screwed up to think that way, but when you realize that nothing can last forever, you start to think. Thinking becomes over thinking and then becomes paranoia. I don’t want to say goodbye. And I know I might seem like a bad person when I cry more over my pets than I do over people, but you have to know that people arent there for me like my pets are. To me they’re not pets, they’re companions. I can always count on them to make me smile or comfort me, where as people, People have hurt me more than animals have. People lie and pretend they care. People use you to get to others. Now I’m not saying that I dont like people. I have met the greatest people online, but a lot of them don’t know who I am. Not famous people, just people. Now there are some of those people who acknowledge me if I interact with them, but Im no more than a simple follower. Then I have my online friends, though they are few in numbers, I care about them. But like I said. Things come to an end, whether, you get in fights, lose connections, drift apart. There are few that manage to stay forever, and I mean “till death do us part” forever.

I don’t really know where Im going with this honestly, but I’m just saying that I’m scared. I’m scared of the future. As one of those kids who was forced to give up being a child, I have no fears- except the future.