Swear To Be

Hey…
Youre the only one I can tell this to.
I dont know who reads this, but I do know, someone eventually will.

So, you see. Im only 16. I hate my life, but I keep going. I know some people care, but I feel like those with whom I live with, they dont. But maybe you will, so here goes nothing.

I need help. I know something is wrong with me. Whether it be stress, anxiety, depression, schizophrenia piling up on one another in my head, or Im just worthless.
I get told by my parents: “lose weight”, “be pretty”, “be like her”, “have friends”. Im told these things everyday. I try to tell them that if I try to talk to people I panic. I tell them I hate my life. I tell them that I cant stand being alone in a dark house. But they just brush me off. Its like they dont care. On top of that they yell at me when I do nothing wrong. Its like Im the first person that comes to mind when theyre mad. And that makes me wonder, is it my fault? Am I the reason why? Am I the reason why they suffer and are mad?

Update. 19:03pm. Started this about 30minutes ago, and stopped because my arms are burning. Further explaination:
Just now my dad started yelling and swearing. Then he threatened to kill my guinea pigs. The only things that have kept me sane and happy he threated to kill, and when I heard that I immediately got up and yelled “What did you say”. He said it again, and I just got so pissed that when I turned around… I almost broke my promise to everyone.
I ran and grabbed a pair of scissors. They were the first things I saw, and I grabbed them. But then I stopped. I stopped, gripping them tightly and tried to press them against my skin. But I couldnt do it.
I yelled at myself “Just do it! Why wont you do it?!” I tried, but I couldnt. Half of me wanted to just slice my neck, my arms, my thighs, but the other half said no.
I couldnt do it.
So I went to take a shower, which is why my arms are burning. I put it at the hottest level, and I just started clawing at my arms. I was even tempted to chug bleach. And I was praying that I was sleeping, I was praying for it to be a nightmare, but I guess Im awake.

Now I cant even smile. I try and all I want to do is cry.