For me, it’s like the door shut in my face right when I was about to go through.
I know I haven’t done any post on here for a while, but the reason is: I haven’t got a clue what to write about. Then just now… well about ten minutes ago… I decided “hey, why don’t I look through my past ‘mentions’ on Twitter. This was a very bad, but good mistake? I saw the “relationship” I had again, and reading the tweets made me remember. The bad thing was remembering how it ended and why, but the good thing was I remembered what it was like to have a real friend like that. Too bad it ended with “I don’t care if you kill yourself. You’re a creepy fugly F**ktard. Goodbye forever.” Now these words did not come from me, but from the other. Which leads me to my next point.
Never tell someone to kill themselves, no matter if it’s an email, text, IM, phone call, or whatever. If you tell someone to kill themselves, even if you just say it to act tough, it would be your fault along with the other people who said it. What if your words were the ones that caused them to do it? You meant it, but you didn’t think they’d follow through? Well, guess what? It’s a game of Russian Roulette. Each time you say it, it’s a dud, but then there may be the time that someone says it and it is the bullet. No one knows when, or who will say it, or how, or why, or where. If you’re the last person that says it to them then they pull the trigger, the blame will be on you mostly. Don’t assume anything about someone when you don’t know their life. Now to my next point.
‘Assuming makes an ass out of you and me”, my Geometry teacher said this a lot, but it’s true. Say you assume someone is cheating on their significant other, but they’re not, you are hated for spreading rumors, and the other is not trusting because of those rumors. Someone that is apparently my friend on FB was like “you don’t have anxiety. You’re just a wimp.” I sat there and thought to myself, “boy are you confused.” Anxiety is different for everyone. For me, I get panic attack symptoms everyday because I think about what I may do later and it scares me. When I want to tweet something, or even say something to someone, I reread the message 4+ times, put it into Google to make sure it’s okay, then stare at it for another five minutes, but then ending up deleting it. Same with these posts, I type so much, but then I delete it all and restart it. It bothers me and burdens me. I want to record things for YouTube, but I can’t because I’d have a panic attack once I hit record. It’ll be like: *clicks record* hello, I— *stops recording, hyperventilates, and nearly passes out*. It’s painful. I can’t do anything, I hate going to social events even with family because I feel like I’ll mess up, so I end up sitting on the couch listening to music and being an outcast.
Anyways, that’s all for this late night post. Hope you enjoyed(?) I guess. I hope this sent some sense into some of those who want people to commit suicide, or don’t understand anxiety and how it’s different for everyone. Next post will probably be either about LGBT/Equality or some rant.
Peace and Love ❤
bye :3
The Me Behind The Screen 